Monday, September 25, 2017

War Paint

Smoke rises above the trees
painting the sky with truth and deceit
what you see, speaks to me
when I'm not listening
 
I see the fire in your eyes
is this really you or your disguise?
I can't tell when you lie
but I want to try
and make it right
 
Battle drums echo across the field
war paint ready, don't need a shield
running to the flames far too fast
as we're stuck in this hourglass
ashes fall and freeze time
when we realize it's a sign
all we have is time
and there isn't enough
 
...there isn't enough
 
Golden hour covered in golden flames
cold to the touch, nothing's left the same
feel your heart beating, beating
running out of air and over heating
 
What are you fighting for
in this endless war?
 
You were born ready for this
blow a kiss with your crimson lips
 
Fight with all you have to save yourself
as you give your heart to someone else
thinking that'll save you too
but is it too soon? is it too soon?
just give your confessions to the moon
 
Arrows in hand with feathers in your hair
close your eyes, send them through the air
there's strength in the faith
as we face each day
go forward, be brave
 
...be brave
 
 *******

There's been a concept of  'warrior' that's been haunting me.  I've sat down several times and tried to write only to end up with blockage.  Then bits and pieces would come to me while driving (talk about a stress reliever as I was hoping for longer red lights!), on the piano, at work, the gym, during yoga, while listening to classical or instrumental music, and all these other random times...  and it all came together like a jigsaw puzzle.  I don't think I've had that happen with my writing before.  This is why it's taken me longer to write this post.  This piece was put together with a tune in my head.  It's not a song but with some rearranging it might be later.  I am not a skilled musician but I do love to create things here and there.  
 
Like many people, I've been going through a lot... and have been riding that roller coaster of emotion.  I positioned the poem before the backstory and explanation because I wanted the reader to get a raw and authentic interpretation.  What or who was this for?  What scenarios were thought of?  No one is wrong.  We each have our own battles to fight.  For me, this piece is about fighting yourself for yourself by getting that war paint on and facing everything head on.  Naturally, defense mechanisms come so easily as we try to paint a picture like everything is fine and sweep everything under the rug.  I won't do that, not anymore.  I have been successfully moving forward because I have been able to take the time to fight the urges to hide from unpleasant experiences by: journaling, starting this blog, keeping supportive and positive company with family and friends where we talk/vent/listen/celebrate, getting out of my comfort zones, doing things that scare me, changing habits, and make efforts to consciously acknowledge things that don't sit right with me so I can release them the right way and not ignore them so they manifest in other ways.  It's not easy and it's not a smooth path, but it's worth it.  It's worth it to be brave.  It's worth it to acknowledge the good and the bad and keep the good with you as you leave the bad behind.  By doing so, so many promising things are within arm's reach.  When we let go, we can then hold onto something far better.  Something that can lift us up instead of drag us down.  Be a warrior.  The battle scars we collect are beautiful as they remind us of how far we've come... and how much farther we can go. 
 
Love Always,
Lainey
 
 
 
Copyright © 2017. All Rights Reserved


Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Moonbeams and Daydreams

lullabies of the night dance through the air
petals fall to your pillows and land in your hair
angels kiss your forehead through moonbeam streams
sparkling though the dust in the light of your dreams

the moon is full and so is your heart
never truly knowing when things end or when they start
make peace with the hurt that broke you inside out
teach those who've wronged you to rise above the clouds

send a prayer or ten up beyond the stars
have faith in knowing this place is ours
close your eyes and dare to dream
send your plans into action carried by moonbeams

distance is irrelevant, what does your intuition say?
the vibes that collide, let's let them lead the way
every time I've tried to wander I'm pulled right back
I don't understand and at times feel attacked

the only thing I grasp is this light inside me
bright as the sky or dim as I grieve
it's not something to get over, it's something to learn
you can either put out the flame or watch it burn

but there will always be cycles as we journey this life
there will be butterflies with hi's and bitter goodbyes 
there will be good things from bad SHITuations
and beauty from pursuing your heart's palpitations

when we unlearn what was taught, evaluate each thought
learn the differences between lust and love, things that can't be bought
see perfection beneath the skin and value a soul
all these lies and deciet really do take a toll

drown out their repetitive nonsense telling us what to do
since they won't listen make them watch how you grew
night is a place where you don't have to stay confined behind lines
the freedom is yours wherever the moon shines

and when the sun rises past the moon
be strong, be fearless, to doubts be immune
break out of the shadows painted over you
don't let them hide you, to yourself be true

Love Always,
Lainey

Copyright © 2017. All Rights Reserved 

Friday, September 1, 2017

The Naked Eye

The naked eye is limited to a certain range of vision.  Seeing is not always believing.  If we don't see it, it doesn't mean it's not there.  If we do see it, we can each perceive and interpret it differently.  However, there is a basic human instinct, let's call it morals, where we each have an internal compass guiding us to know the difference between right and wrong.  Then there are those infamous philosophic questions like the one from Quantum Theory... If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?  Some would argue no (for those wanting to relate this to the human experience), but I say, "Yes" (for arguments sake relating this to the physical phenomenon).  If a person did a good deed without posting it on social media, did they do good even if they didn't receive any acknowledgment or "Likes"?  Ummm.... an astounding YES!  Okay, these scenarios are like apples and oranges, but you get the gist!  Things still happen with or without witnesses.  Sound waves still penetrate the air... because science says so... and people can still cause a growing ripple in this world by doing what inspires them; by doing what makes them feel good by doing right.  This blog is my sound wave, my ripple that you can see with the naked eye.  

There are a number of reasons why I started this blog:

1. Leaving my comfort zones by learning to break free by speaking more freely.  I am a sucker for random and deep conversations but I also express myself through journaling and poetry. 

2. There's lots of special things my mama taught me that I feel deserve to be shared.  She was always so progressive, and I strive to keep up and make her and my loved ones proud by staying true to myself and not hold back.  My mama taught me to stay wild and not to be afraid to be brave.  My dad taught me to put family first and that unconditional love exists.  These lessons along with others have always inspired me and I hope they inspire you too.

3.  It's therapeutic and will only truly benefit me if I speak the truth.  I believe it's important to write about and discuss things that are good as well as bad... and use this as a way to navigate through questions and topics that may either raise awareness to something or help others who may be going through the same or similar things.  There were times when I felt shut out (lied about) and silenced, and this is a platform where I can focus on the truths... and let them outshine the lies.  

    
In the next 24 hours Asteroid Florence will be visible by the naked eye all over the world.  *Cue Aerosmith song from Armageddon, I Don't Want to Miss a Thing.* According to NASA, "Asteroid Florence is the biggest near-Earth object ever detected at 3 miles wide and at a hair's distance of just 4 million miles away," - incredible isn't it?!  Looking up at the sky or out at the world while standing at a high view point really puts things into perspective.  Where should our focus be?  What matters?  We are so small, and we are here for just a short amount of time.  We pick our battles.  We hold our tongues.  Bite our lips.  Speak our minds.  Watch.  Struggle.  Life it too short and we are too small to hold so much inside.  Let it out (within reason and constructively of course).  I want to promote standing up for what you believe is right.  Promoting LOVE, not hate. Promoting TRUTH, not perpetuating fears.   

Let the exposure and vulnerability of our naked eyes allow us to see beyond what's just in front of us.  Look past the horizon.  Find comfort in knowing that things still happen, with or without witnesses.  Today, I hope you look to the sky and see Asteroid Florence with your naked eyes as you're reminded not to miss a thing (thanks Aerosmith!).  There's light from behind the dark just as Florence is making her debut.  There's no reason to hold back now.  Be bold.  Be brave.  Be true.          


Love Always,
Lainey



Copyright © 2017. All Rights Reserved

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