"Adulting"- a fine word to describe responsibilities and obligations that take priority. The excuses we make when we have to pass up something fun and possibly irresponsible to do something, well... more responsible. There has to be more to life- right?! When we take a step back (and possibly because we're being pulled in multiple directions and trip over our own two feet and fall back) we're able to gain a new perspective and learn to balance. From here we can appreciate all the stepping stones and building blocks we've conquered. We may even realize it's not about being an ADULT, but just doing what's right and changing perspective. Release that hold of negativity by unlocking a new vision to bestow on each situation. Instead of saying, "I have to..." we can say, "I get to...". Not everyone can pay their bills every month. Some people may not have a washer and dryer to do laundry. 'Tis the season to continue to be grateful for everyone we share our lives with and all that we've been able to experience in our lives thus far. Sure, we've gone through some not-so-great times, but with that comes learning, growing, and strength building, if we're lucky enough to seize the opportunity.
I'd like to share an experience I had while I was in session with a family. It left me with my jaw-dropped and inspired as lessons can come from the most unlikeliest of places.
I asked my 13 year old client to describe how she is feeling after her first heart break. She has difficulty expressing herself into words and it worries her parents since she experiences bullying. Usually when we ask her questions like this we get, "UGHHHH I DON'T KNOW!" or "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!". Of course, when I asked her about it, she scoffed and whined, "I don't know! Can I just show you a song that says how I feel?" Her mother and I looked at each other and let her play Taylor Swift's song Look What You Made Me Do. We briefly talked about how and why Taylor Swift might write a song like that and what she might be going through, a conversation we let our 13 year old lead. Then I came back to the question and asked her to describe how she is feeling after her first heart break. She scrunched her face as though she didn't want to revisit the question, took a minute or two and she reluctantly responds, "It feels like my heart is broken to pieces, you know? Like when your heart breaks it becomes another shape so the piece that used to fit there doesn't fit anymore and that's why it hurts. It hurts because you're trying to force something that doesn't fit. Now you need to find a better piece to fit the new shape of your heart and I don't know if I'll ever find that special piece."
I know, right?! Her mother and I looked at each other and told her that was said beautifully, gave her some feedback, and had her write it in her journal. Let's fix our face and pick our jaws up for a second. How eloquently said and observant of her to realize when there is a need to let things go even though it hurts, knowing it's not right for you and there is better for you elsewhere. I am so proud of her and want to encourage her and others to always find your own words or your own outlet to express yourself. Listening to music is wonderful as the saying goes, "When words fail, music speaks" but I hope everyone will unlock their own voice whether it's a simple discussion, writing in a journal, writing a song, playing an instrument, or even through dance, but just get it out and let it come from you. Find your key and unlock your hesitations and express yourself. The longer we hold things in, stay in denial, and/or just try to force pieces that aren't meant to fit, we're just wasting our time.
As November is coming to an end and the last month of 2017 is fast approaching, let's continue to unlock all that tries to hold us back. Unlock your voice, follow through with your actions and don't stop. Be true to yourself and honest with your situations. Set yourself free and follow where your heart and soul takes you. You'll come across so many wonderful experiences along the way... and you'll find your special piece.
Love Always,
Lainey
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I love this! Positivity is key to any obstacle or adversity. Thank you for reminding me that "I get to..." do things. We are so blessed and fortunate in many ways. Some of us don't realize it because we are stuck on trying to get the things that we don't have instead of being content and grateful for the things that we do have. I'm so fortunate that "I get to" have you in my life. You are such an inspiration to your clients and to the people around you. By the way, I spell a mini Blogger. Bless your client's heart. I hope she can turn this poison into medicine and use her words to mend her pain.
ReplyDeleteThat’s right :) you’re absolutely right. We can get lost in the day to day mundane tasks we routinely have. Whenever I feel “stuck” I have to remind myself that “this is not it” every little thing we do has purpose and it can and will bring us where we strive to be... keep on keeping on... I’m so incredibly grateful for you! Your positivity, genuine kindness, patience; understanding of others (even when I don’t have the patience for some), and golden heart of pure love is inspiring to me and others!! I see it!!! You are such an inspiration, so much in fact that people just gravitate towards you... even pastors!!!! I would love for my client to be a mini blogger, but right now she is into music and singing... so maybe a song writer?? I have been pushing her to stay with music since she loves it so much. It’s amazing how much we learn from each other! I hope she can also turn this poison into medicine and find the silver lining and follow it.
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