Free

 

Free

We were as free as could be

Fears falling like leaves

Slow dancing in the autumn breeze 

We knew how lucky we were

Now the past is just a blur…

The wind kicked up

Mixed fear and love

We’ve never felt so alive 

‘Till we met death

Now we’re counting each breath like

We’re going in debt

Tread lightly on eggshells

Our own homemade hell

Pour more salt in our wounds 

As we’re cradled in our tombs

And running out of room

Each sunrise brings relief

Fear is just a thief of the things we love

The tighter we grasp the harder to relax

Just close our eyes and see where we end up

It’s the closest to living we could be

Is when we allow ourselves to be free

Love Always,

Lainey

Dried Flowers

 

Dried Flowers

Change is in the air

Can’t stay here for long

Paralyzed in a stare

In this place I don’t belong

I dreamt up this place

Hope carried by a breeze

Doubts I never faced

Petals falling from the trees

And I don’t mean to be misleading

But there’s a fire inside I can’t explain

Maybe ‘cause it never got that deep

There’s much you missed before you came

I don’t care who understands me

It’s a waste of breath I’ve learned

It’s exhausting to sleep peacefully

When you’re just waiting to get burned

But these dried flowers were not in vain 

When we stripped them from their roots

How do we expect them not to change

Thinking tomorrow is so absolute?

So I patched these wings with

Sugar coated promises of later

The most thoughtless gift

From your sweetest traitor

Take the change and try to fly

There’s so much just out of reach

Might as well enjoy the ride

As we’re carried by the breeze

Love Always,

Lainey

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Fear

 

FEAR

Fear only loves itself 

As lightning struck the sand 

Behind the glass as it fell

Frozen in time waiting for release

Glass bottles can’t hold everything

Thunder rolls behind the clouds

With static like a synapse

We try hard to drown them out

Frozen in time waiting for release

Glass bottles can’t hold everything

So we pray and meditate 

Speak, listen, and gravitate

Break the cycles that perpetuate 

Resolve, release, and levitate

In this new life we create 

We go on leading separate lives

And realize it’s an illusion

That takes us by surprise

Frozen in time waiting for release 

Glass bottles can’t hold everything

As the glass breaks

Star dust fills up the sky

Divine timing is never late

Once we learn to trust ourselves

And give all fear back to itself

Love Always,

Lainey

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Cords

 Cords

Tied and tethered to a fringe of leather

Hanging off your left coat sleeve

Couldn’t decide whether I’d ever

Compare to the dreams you’ve had of me

I guess I’ll never know

But there’s a softness in your eyes

That speaks through light

With a glimpse of what’s ahead

And a reason for why we met

Still I weather the poison from the nectar 

Sweeter than anything else you gave

Knowing better for forever

Helplessly lost in a dangerous gaze

Feels so right to be so low, though

I had to choose the dullest knife

Thinking it won’t cut through

Didn’t take much to finally see why

I fell for and away from you

Love Always,

Lainey

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Right Now

 

Right Now

Life seems a mystery

You take a shot for me

Nothing’s more expensive than this memory

Right here, right now

It’s kinda loud in our silence

Under a flash of violet lights above your brow

Your eyes pierce my chest

Doin’ my best just to breathe

Beauty in the words you paint

Make you farthest from a saint

Yet, here I am listening and a little faint

Right here, right now

No doubt we’re too familiar here

We’re down about to drown in each other

Don’t make me wait

I’ve got no restraint

Life is a fantasy

With your eyes on me

Nothing’s more permanent than this memory

Right here, right now

It’s about time we’re outta line

Lost in the crowd and floating on cloud 9

Blinded by these lights

I dare you to come with me

Love Always,

Lainey

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Two Truths and a Lie

Two truths and a lie

In every dark place there’s a light

The best of both worlds, low and high

Horns come out to hold up the halo

Atop a volcano ready to fly

Let’s play to the end, just you and I

Two truths and a lie 

Across the fire painted hills 

Our shadows danced and raced until

The afterlife before this life

Left one of us behind 

I recognize these broken wings

That carried us through everything

Misread most of the signs

Singed and tattered, we made it right?

Caught in a loop and split in two 

In clouded dreams it was you

Took a while but we survived

Despite the hauntings endured each night

Two truths and a lie

Does light manipulate the dark

Tease with colors in an arch?

The horns recede and the halo drops

How many cycles until it stops?

As we awake we feel more alive 

Two truths and a lie

But where’s the lie?

Love Always,

Lainey

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Home

Home

Gravity lied to me when I learned to fly

Reached up to the sun and all of a sudden 

I didn’t fear the burn

Figured I’ve earned so many scars

That I’d make my home the stars

But as the world falls upside down

No amount of strength can keep me here

Just a clear silhouette of me and my wings

Etched in the sand

Where lightning hit a thousand times

Looking up at the kaleidoscope sky 

That I swear could read my mind

With patterns spelling out my dreams

It seems so close

I suppose I’ll call that star home

Love always, 

Lainey

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Static

When foolish standards are hammered and fed to us through screens

Photographs rip us in half and lie and kill with their magazines 

Our thoughts are drowned out by narratives comparative to the past 

How long do we live to give our dimming light that barely stood a chance?

As it gets harder to breathe and conceive a thought that’s not our own

We’re then told to sacrifice as a compromise for their lies unknown

When they’re in a hurry to bury us strategically since birth

And all we’ve ever known has shown up as old men who tell us what we’re worth

They raise us then they blame us and divide us for scraps

They attack us and distract us and their meds set us up for relapse

Don’t confuse this abuse for care when they’ve set us up against each other

It’s time to open our eyes and prepare for what’s been uncovered 

Just when we thought we knew enough we’re brought into a rabbit hole

With a needle for our feeble minds connecting these truths that unfold

As we each slowly awake from all the fake dreams they sold

Look beyond the sky and realize you’re one less soul they can control

Love Always,

Lainey

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Shadow Work

 Hours of dreaming but I’m still awake

You think I’m close but I’m far away 

The smile drawn across my face is not one you recognize

When my soul changes color behind the eyes

When the heat from my hands begin to rise

Do you see me? Do you see me now?

Don’t sugar coat just say what you mean

Play with my shadow and tell her things

These kings and queens with dirt in their nails are being put to rest

With half truths so cold that you can see their breath

It’s time to let it go but don’t forget

Do you see me? Do you see me now?

Layers of light surrounding us whole

Eons of lifetimes with this one soul

It’s the only thing you can control if you wanna do it right 

And don’t act like you don’t know me in this life

When you can see me without your eyes

Do you see me? Do you see me now?

Love Always, 

Lainey

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Neon Ghosts

 Hope is a thing we dreamt about

If only we knew where we’d be now

I see your face in every sleep

Reckless dreams of discovery

As shadows fade and lights invade 

The space between our faces collide

I read your eyes, you read my mind

We’re both one and the same

No one knows how to escape

From these neon ghosts

Been searching for home in a soul

There’s one I know makes me whole

Been trying to escape it on purpose

But fate tied us too tight, we know this

If I’ve kept you behind the glass this long

Maybe as you stare back, it’s where we belong

Break in case of emergency

When I can’t contain all of me

As shadows fade and lights invade 

The space between our faces collide

I read your eyes, you read my mind

We’re both one and the same

No one knows how to escape

From these neon ghosts

Love Always, 

Lainey

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