When I got up this morning, it seemed just like any other ordinary day... except it wasn't. I've tried to sleep but something in me felt the need to document this day. So here I am, writing. Still wired from today's natural and refreshing "high". I'll try not to get too spiritual here to keep the focus on the events themselves but some background is needed to follow these series of events.
Yes, I do believe in a higher power. I always have. Even as a child I've had several personal experiences where I couldn't deny the existence of Angels... each so significant, I can vividly recall each occurrence. Then Life gets in the way and so does self-absorption. Meaning, we tend to get in this tunnel vision. Set goals, attain them, set goals, attain them, and so on... not really appreciating the present moment and all it offers us. It takes us to a place where we just get by, look ahead, and oftentimes lose touch with that extra sense of purity. The purity of that innate quality of just emanating and receiving love without expectations, hesitations, or reservations. It just happens freely and naturally and we are able to not second guess anything but trust that it's there. Trust that it's always around us and with us. Trust that there are things we don't always fully understand but to remain open to what instinctively feels right. Life is full of uncertainties (a cliché we grew up hearing) and all these negative experiences sometimes cloud our awareness of the significance each moment has to offer.
Ok, enough of all that! There are so many unmistakable things that happened over the last couple of weeks.
1. Numbers, Numbers, Numbers. They are inescapable. They're everywhere. I don't know if it was subconscious or coincidental or what! I guess it's called "Synchrony". Not only do I keep seeing repetitive numbers, I'm seeing dates... in the time, on license plates, on paperwork, etc. It's weird. I would randomly check the time and it's 1:11, 11:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55. Perhaps my circadian rhythms are in sync with the time? Like whenever I feel tired, bored, wake up, or out of habit/routine I check the time? I don't know. Or see patterns or significant dates in license plates. For example: I would be at a red light, stuck in traffic, or be cut off by some rude, inconsiderate car and just look at the license plate in front of me and if there are numbers in any particular order (like a birthday or any other significant date) it would just make me think of that person or event in the moment. I look at license plates a lot because I used to watch all those crime shows and want to be able to describe the cars should there be an accident, hit and run, or Amber Alert. It happens a lot and most of the time it's my best friend's birthday I see and then I get a call from her within 20 minutes... which is rare because we hardly ever talk because she is in a very intense double Master's program where she has little to no contact outside of that. I maybe talk to her once a month (twice if I'm lucky). It happens with other people too. People I hardly talk to. It's like having a song stuck in your head out of no where. An old song or a song you don't normally listen to or think of, but as soon as you turn on the radio or put your songs on shuffle, that random song plays. That happens too.
2. Do you ever just intuitively know things you can't explain? Like a mother who knows when her child is in danger or needs help out of no where, or a twins who just know what's going on with the other even though they are miles apart... If you have an unbreakable bond with someone, you can feel them no matter where you are. It can be pleasant as you can share love and excitement on a deeper level but it can also be stressful and draining. I don't know if it's a good thing or not because sometimes it keeps me up at night. If anyone knows what this is like, what do you do? How do you calm it down? Can it be controlled? I try to control it but I think that I just end up blocking myself off and shifting my focus instead of dealing with things the right way... maybe? What is the purpose of this because what can we really do other than worry?
3.Then there are things that happen that can initially be seen as an inconvenience but then end up working out better than we could have planned. This actually happened today. Today my friend and I were going to practice aerial silks on our lunch break. We went to our normal tree and I climbed half way up only to be stopped by 3 bees in the tree (hence the title of this entry). I waited a couple minutes but they were not leaving. Gotta love Spring! So we decided to just stretch and maybe work on some partner yoga or acro. We may have only started stretching for a couple minutes when we were approached by a man about to jog on a nearby trail. He mentioned he's seen us practice a few times and asked us about silks, blah blah blah... asked us what we did for work, he was a pretty successful music producer for most of his life but wanted a change, talked of travel (he was from Manchester), then got on this whole other topic of Life. Life experiences, spirituality, mindfulness, meditation, health, dating, relationships, love... just having those deep, authentic, and meaningful conversations with a complete stranger. Something that might be worth mentioning is in the middle of our conversation, was a baby bird that fell out of a nearby tree and unfortunately died. It was a dove. The mother came right down and tried to check on it but the baby didn't make it. We ended up burying it by the tree. After that, we continued to talk about Life. No judgement, no sensor. Just authentic and raw. I didn't wake up this morning thinking I needed that, but it truly lifted my spirit (and theirs from what we all later told each other).
It was like I rediscovered my old self again; and knowing I'm on the right path brings comfort. No matter how far I've tried to veer off course, I'm brought back and the people who stayed or came back in my life are stuck with me! We're bonded and that unconditional love exists with us. And the new ones who I'm getting to know are amazing too! My heart is happy... I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Nothing is forced. Everything feels natural. I feel as though my light is shining a little brighter. I'm reminded I'm protected, loved, and cared for. I'm happy. I am able to continue to give and receive love. Thank you, Angels (Mama, I know you're working hard to guide me and I've been so blinded by hurt to listen but I'm trying to get better at listening to you). I'm ready to enjoy and appreciate the rest of this Life. I knew this is supposed to be the
Year of Light! This little light of mine... I'm going to let it shine... let it shine... let it shine... let it shine!
Love Always,
Lainey
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