Bees in the Trees

When I got up this morning, it seemed just like any other ordinary day... except it wasn't.  I've tried to sleep but something in me felt the need to document this day.  So here I am, writing.  Still wired from today's natural and refreshing "high".  I'll try not to get too spiritual here to keep the focus on the events themselves but some background is needed to follow these series of events. 

Yes, I do believe in a higher power.  I always have.  Even as a child I've had several personal experiences where I couldn't deny the existence of Angels... each so significant, I can vividly recall each occurrence.  Then Life gets in the way and so does self-absorption.  Meaning, we tend to get in this tunnel vision.  Set goals, attain them, set goals, attain them, and so on... not really appreciating the present moment and all it offers us.  It takes us to a place where we just get by, look ahead, and oftentimes lose touch with that extra sense of purity.  The purity of that innate quality of just emanating and receiving love without expectations, hesitations, or reservations.  It just happens freely and naturally and we are able to not second guess anything but trust that it's there.  Trust that it's always around us and with us.  Trust that there are things we don't always fully understand but to remain open to what instinctively feels right.  Life is full of uncertainties (a cliché we grew up hearing) and all these negative experiences sometimes cloud our awareness of the significance each moment has to offer.   

Ok, enough of all that!  There are so many unmistakable things that happened over the last couple of weeks.

1. Numbers, Numbers, Numbers.  They are inescapable.  They're everywhere.  I don't know if it was subconscious or coincidental or what!  I guess it's called "Synchrony".  Not only do I keep seeing repetitive numbers, I'm seeing dates... in the time, on license plates, on paperwork, etc.  It's weird.  I would randomly check the time and it's 1:11, 11:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55.  Perhaps my circadian rhythms are in sync with the time?  Like whenever I feel tired, bored, wake up, or out of habit/routine I check the time?  I don't know.  Or see patterns or significant dates in license plates.  For example:  I would be at a red light, stuck in traffic, or be cut off by some rude, inconsiderate car and just look at the license plate in front of me and if there are numbers in any particular order (like a birthday or any other significant date) it would just make me think of that person or event in the moment.  I look at license plates a lot because I used to watch all those crime shows and want to be able to describe the cars should there be an accident, hit and run, or Amber Alert.  It happens a lot and most of the time it's my best friend's birthday I see and then I get a call from her within 20 minutes... which is rare because we hardly ever talk because she is in a very intense double Master's program where she has little to no contact outside of that.  I maybe talk to her once a month (twice if I'm lucky).  It happens with other people too.  People I hardly talk to.  It's like having a song stuck in your head out of no where.  An old song or a song you don't normally listen to or think of, but as soon as you turn on the radio or put your songs on shuffle, that random song plays.  That happens too.   

2. Do you ever just intuitively know things you can't explain?  Like a mother who knows when her child is in danger or needs help out of no where, or a twins who just know what's going on with the other even though they are miles apart... If you have an unbreakable bond with someone, you can feel them no matter where you are.  It can be pleasant as you can share love and excitement on a deeper level but it can also be stressful and draining.  I don't know if it's a good thing or not because sometimes it keeps me up at night.  If anyone knows what this is like, what do you do?  How do you calm it down?  Can it be controlled?  I try to control it but I think that I just end up blocking myself off and shifting my focus instead of dealing with things the right way... maybe?  What is the purpose of this because what can we really do other than worry?   

3.Then there are things that happen that can initially be seen as an inconvenience but then end up working out better than we could have planned.  This actually happened today.  Today my friend and I were going to practice aerial silks on our lunch break.  We went to our normal tree and I climbed half way up only to be stopped by 3 bees in the tree (hence the title of this entry).  I waited a couple minutes but they were not leaving.  Gotta love Spring!  So we decided to just stretch and maybe work on some partner yoga or acro.  We may have only started stretching for a couple minutes when we were approached by a man about to jog on a nearby trail.  He mentioned he's seen us practice a few times and asked us about silks, blah blah blah... asked us what we did for work, he was a pretty successful music producer for most of his life but wanted a change, talked of travel (he was from Manchester), then got on this whole other topic of Life.  Life experiences, spirituality, mindfulness, meditation, health, dating, relationships, love... just having those deep, authentic, and meaningful conversations with a complete stranger.  Something that might be worth mentioning is in the middle of our conversation, was a baby bird that fell out of a nearby tree and unfortunately died.  It was a dove.  The mother came right down and tried to check on it but the baby didn't make it.  We ended up burying it by the tree.  After that, we continued to talk about Life.  No judgement, no sensor. Just authentic and raw.  I didn't wake up this morning thinking I needed that, but it truly lifted my spirit (and theirs from what we all later told each other).

It was like I rediscovered my old self again; and knowing I'm on the right path brings comfort.  No matter how far I've tried to veer off course, I'm brought back and the people who stayed or came back in my life are stuck with me!  We're bonded and that unconditional love exists with us.  And the new ones who I'm getting to know are amazing too!  My heart is happy...  I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  Nothing is forced.  Everything feels natural.  I feel as though my light is shining a little brighter.  I'm reminded I'm protected, loved, and cared for.  I'm happy.  I am able to continue to give and receive love.  Thank you, Angels (Mama, I know you're working hard to guide me and I've been so blinded by hurt to listen but I'm trying to get better at listening to you).  I'm ready to enjoy and appreciate the rest of this Life.  I knew this is supposed to be the Year of Light!  This little light of mine... I'm going to let it shine... let it shine... let it shine... let it shine!          

Love Always,

Lainey  

                     

 

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Dare

 

Dare to accept a new challenge.  You have so much power and potential, you may not even realize it.  The magnitude of all you can do when you go full force can be shocking when you look back at how far you've come.  The possibilities are endless.  I'm guilty of staying in my comfort zone for too long.  Now I've made promises to myself to lunge forward and propel myself into what feeds my soul.  It can be anything.  Every unique thing about you such as: the things you like, your strengths, weaknesses, passions, dreams, etc. is a star map to your purpose...your destiny.  We may try and force ourselves in this cookie cutter mold of what everyone else is doing, what everyone else expects from us, but the truth is... all that superficial bullshit is only holding us back.  Dare them to underestimate you!  So what if they judge a book by its cover?  That's the biggest mistake anyone can make.  It can work in your favor too.  The smile on your face is worth a lot more than the car you're driving or the purse you're holding or the watch you're wearing.  Symbols of status are nothing more than extra marketing designed to throw us off our course and onto someone else's.  It then becomes their game and we are just pieces being played on a board game meant to reach the end to win.  Their limited version of "winning".  BORING!   Leave the board.  Don't let them tell you you're next move.  Don't let their lack of options limit your choices for your next move.  Because in the end, make sure you used your time and energy wisely by being happy and not worrying about trying to impress other people who are really not worth the energy in the first place.  How condescending when people claim to "feel sorry" for others who are happy being their true selves and not being like everyone else.  Clap back (with grace of course) and show them how the extraordinary are meant to be different.  In the words of Dr. Seuss "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"     

 

Who says the only direction you can go is left or right, forwards or backwards?  You can go up too!  ...Or diagonal, or down if you like diving.  I'm a firm believer that we can do anything we want if we continue to work hard for it.  Failure is a sign of success because it means you went  for it.  Keep trying and don't give up.  NEVER give up.  Don't let someone tell you you're dreams are too big, or it's unrealistic.  How do they know?  They're either: 1. jealous and want to discourage you because it can be a threat to their self-esteem, 2. projecting their fears and lack of confidence in themselves onto you (still in line with number 1), 3. may have good intentions but they might live in a bubble and may not be knowledgeable of the topic, 4. They had dreams like yours once and it didn't work out for them, or 5. all about numbers, statistics, and playing it safe... sure sometimes the odds may be against us, but those who've dared to strategically and passionately go against the odds are  the ones who win.  There's a reason you're after it... it has your name on it, go for it!

 

It must suck for those nonbelievers because little do they know many of us have a rebellious nature and they are actually adding fuel to the fire.  I "feel sorry" for them holding themselves back from all the amazing things they could be doing, but instead just wasting potential talent.  Just you wait and see.  Don't give up, don't give in, GIVE IT YOUR ALL and you will WIN! 

 

If it was easy, everyone would do it.  The comebacks are greater than the setbacks!  Dare to do it and prepare yourself for your next move.   

    

 Love Always,
Lainey

 

 

 

 

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