Modern Holiday

There's always been a little hope

that there'll be a reason to believe

when traditions become unwrapped

as we sit around the tree

there's a little light that shows us more

than what we were ready to receive

when families grow and make new things

and staying in jammies is a relief

there's a little less excitement and magic

so we drink to be naughty and merry

eating Santa's special cookies

and losing the wifi is more scary

Don’t forget to take off your shoes
and leave them by the door
there’s more food than we can eat
you’ll be full with them telling you to eat more

With shared Netflix accounts
we know what shows you’ve seen
and make you repeat holiday specials
as we send inappropriate memes

so we light some candles and sing some songs

to spread some modern holiday cheer

with Asian karaoke scores

with English not so clear

There are too many heads to count
as we put one gift each in a pile
it’s truly a surprise to guess
so  you pick the wrapping with more style

Only to get something to regift next year
as it’s been recycled for a while
so take a selfie or two or ten
in every filter with a smile  

On this modern holiday with loved ones
we’ll post and tag and like
with these new traditions we make
we still cherrish these holiday nights

We refocus our value on family and friends
and make memories for years to come
with so much going on each year
we finally come together as one

Love Always,

Lainey

Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved

In Plain Sight

hide in plain sight

seek asylum

in the silence between the noise

 play with broken toys

yeah, pretend to play nice

blinded by your eyes

telling you what to think

what's it mean if I care

when I pretended not to care?

yeah, I hide in plain sight

I can't blame you

when you used to

see me so exposed, fully clothed

and you know it's true

then the excuses came

we were never the same

you gave up, I couldn't save us

so I hide in plain

 in plain sight

but I can't blame you

your weakness for a skirt

you must've been hurt

now you're stuck with your lies

pretend to play nice

in time you'll be exposed

and it's starting to show

so, you hide in plain sight

blinded by your eyes

telling you what to think

what's it mean if you care

when you pretended not to care?

yeah, you hide in plain sight

I can't blame you

when you used to

be unexposed, and unclothed

and you know it's true

hide in plain sight

seek asylum

in the silence between the noise

play with broken toys

yeah, pretend to play nice

Love Always,

Lainey

Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved

Take the Shot

spotted you from across the room
tried to dodge your gaze cause you wanted it too
couldn't fight the urge to walk away
tried to keep my strength but it's way too late

I seemed to have lost all control
the way you stare into my soul
and I can't describe how I know
I've known you lifetimes ago

locked in, take the shot
don't hesitate, give it all you've got
and I can tell you've had me before
the way you make me yours

you speak to me with your eyes
break my rules, don't be polite
take me over from head to toe
and you make me yours

 there's a reason why it's here and now
as you brush your fingers across my mouth
 the way you hover around my neck
can't deny how we connect

locked in, take the shot
don't hesitate, give it all you've got
and I can tell you've had me before
the way you make me yours

you speak to me with your eyes
break my rules, don't be polite
take me over from head to toe
and you make me yours

spotted you from across the room
tried to dodge your gaze cause you wanted it too
couldn't fight the urge to walk away
tried to keep my strength but it's way too late


Love Always,
Lainey
 

 

Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved

Wrong Place at the Right Time

 I'm writing you this letter in the middle of the night
it's the only way I know how to survive
being in the wrong place at the right time
gets me a glass of whiskey with a hint of lime
and I'm afraid to look up
'cause I get trapped by your eyes, every time

Go ahead and call me weak
go ahead and tell me to go
tell me something I don't know
tell me I'm wrong
tell me to leave
tell me something, anything
'cause your silence is deafening

I fill the silence from weeks before
of all the things we've said and more
and I can tell you're fighting it too
a battle we're bound to lose

And right now you think I'm rude
I'm distant and ignoring you
but I'm writing you this letter on a napkin in this booth
willing you to sober up and tell me what to do
all the things you're afraid to do

Go ahead and call me weak
go ahead and tell me to go
tell me something I don't know
tell me I'm wrong
tell me to leave
tell me something, anything
'cause right now I can't speak

What are you waiting for?
I'm one choice away from not making this mistake

I fill the silence from weeks before
of all the things we've said and more
and I can tell you're fighting it too
a battle we're bound to lose

Caught in a moment of weakness
in this dimly lit room
making my bed into a tomb
sinning at every thought of you

I'm writing you this letter in the middle of the night
I lost all concept of time after midnight
it's the only way I know how to survive
being in the wrong place at the right time...

and I can tell you're fighting it too
a battle we're bound to lose



Love Always,
Lainey

Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved

Strangers

another cloudy moonlit night

just like strangers passing by

in a crowded world way too small

run into one and know them all

 

different faces with the same intention

sounds so sweet but forget to mention

how they use people for their gain

swear they've learned but still the same

drowning in the shallow end
water so dark pretend it's cement
act so coy just trying to avoid
anything real they use and destroy

it's just another storm passing through
perfect timing couldn't come too soon
cut the ties between these heart strings
there's nothing worse than losing me

I've got to change and resign
break the pattern of this design
stand my ground and find myself
step away from becoming someone else

can't live up to their expectations
don't they see they're really limitations?
wearing their 50 shades of beige
when I can't and fear I'd fade away

but I won't apologize this time
 stop pretending everything's fine
all I ever wanted was honesty
but truth drowns in low tide of a blackened sea

drowning in the shallow end
water so dark pretend it's cement
act so coy just trying to avoid
anything real they use and destroy

it's just another storm passing through
perfect timing couldn't come too soon
cut the ties between these heart strings
there's nothing worse than losing me

stand my ground and be myself
step away from becoming someone else


Love Always,
Lainey
 

 

 

Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved

Halo of Stars

How hallow is your heart
After you give it away
And they take take take it
Wrecklesly?

How violent is your silence
Rattled between your ears
As they say say say things
Carelessly?

Move your lips
Your words trapped behind your tongue
Break the mold when nothing fits
Want it all, end up with none
Don’t give up now when you’ve come this far
Say what you really want

Trace each scar with your eyes
Memorizing each battle you fought and won
Let the ghosts that haunt you die
Take them out with your holy gun
Guided by the stars we’re born under
Protected by a halo of stars

They say it’s destiny
They say it’s meant to be
Why won’t I surrender to fate
And float on clouds of faith
And fall in line like everyone else?
Guess it’s not for me

How big is the mess we make
After we gave our all to create it
As we make make make love
Intentionally?

How deep can we fall in this galaxy
After we spent centuries to end up here
As we lay lay lay here
Endlessly?

We say it’s destiny
We say it’s meant to be
Why am I surrendering to fate
Floating on these clouds of faith
And falling into someone else?

Trace each scar with your eyes
Memorizing each battle you fought and won
Embrace the mess you tried to hide
Guided by the stars we’re born under
Protected by a halo of stars 

  a halo of stars

Love Always,
Lainey

Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved



In This Lifetime

I know this place

I've been lost here before

How much of this life is already decided?

How much do we own?

When there's comfort in a heartbeat

and find someone called home

There's life between the pauses

there's beauty in loss we can't see

I tried to bury the maps written by stars

covered in dust from lifetimes ago

but what's meant to be will be

and there's comfort in knowing we're never alone

sometimes I feel so empty handed

trying not to take this life for granted

trying so hard

and sometimes it's harder to speak into reality

hoping maybe it's all a dream

or maybe it's just me

lost in another lifetime looking for signs

I'm trying to get used to change

a test of strength and humility

but at some point it all goes away

and we're left more confused than ever before

fighting not to let the world change us

holding tight to our heart half torn

I guess the test is to stay true

through the painful bumps and bruises

radiate your light through the dark

and use this life to find the ones looking for you

who knew you in all these lifetimes and the next

the ones we never truly lose

Love Always,

Lainey

 Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved

A Safe Place

 

 

I was safe from war

letting the sand fill up the hourglass

letting second chances slip through the cracks

surrendering attacks

cause there's no place safer than denial

 

gun smoke creeps these streets like fog

smile and nod like it's none of our business

we stick to our own

over crowded and alone

ignoring the warning signs of survival

 

what's worse than a dream

we don't intend on following?

how long can we hide behind a lie

turning our mind's eye away from it all?

go all in or withdraw 

play it safe and walk away

with everything at stake

 

turn on the light and feed the fire

give in to your deepest desires

watch the clock tick back and forth

and let the hypnotist take control

try so hard to blend in to compete

find a substitute when you're incomplete

but nothing beats the real thing

 

I was safe from war

another thing of the past to mourn

so take what we came here for

don't let your purpose go in vain

face the fire

fan the flame

 

cause there's no safer place than a heart this wild

...the only way of survival

 

Love Always,

Lainey

 

 Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved



Strength in Weakness

Strength in Weakness
 

without a word your eyes tell a story

they even tell the truth behind a smile

no wonder why we look away so much

filling in the spaces with miles and miles of nowhere

until we see things for how they are

and heal past our scars
 

no one really knows all there is to know

how could they when we're this complicated?

so sedated as we let our fears take control

taking over where we've been and where we decide to go

until we brave the change

choose to heal or stay the same
 

there's a strength in weakness

that breathes between the seams

feed it light and watch it rise

see the fire in your eyes

teach it patience and words through action

make your moves through love and passion

face your weakness

look it in the eyes

cause there's a strength in weakness

that'll make us rise
 

it’s that pivotal moment to make a choice
after everything that’s happened, what will define us?
trust everything that was, isn’t going to be the same
vulnerability never felt so scary to face head on in this rain
let it wash away your tears
and make your fears disappear 

don't be afraid

there’s a strength in weakness
that breathes between the seams
outgrow the shadow that haunts your dreams


feed it light and watch it rise
see the fire in your eyes
and know it was all a lie
even though it’ll try to convince us otherwise


face your weakness
look it in the eyes
cause there’s a strength in weakness
that’ll make us rise
 

Love Always,
Lainey 



Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved



Half Exposed

Half Exposed

feet in the sand

half exposed

take my hand

forgive me if I can't look you in the eyes

it's one of those things where you'll realize

I might be too much for you

 

there's so much

I can't say

and your touch

makes me feel like everything's okay

but what if the day comes where you won't stay

cause everything always changes

 

 I've tried my best to forget

...and remember not everyone's the same

jaded and shaded not knowing the games I played in

but that's what I get for playing with fire in the rain

 

lights on the water

why do I even bother fantasizing about you? 

clear skies and different shades of blue

even your eyes bring out another shade of truth

 forgive me if I can't say it to you too

 

bright and blurry

it feels like

we're all in a hurry

I want to slow down and take our time

 leave our expectations behind

and enjoy each sunrise for now

 

sit on the beach

half exposed

talk about everything

don't hold back and look me right in the eyes

it's one of those things where you'll realize

this is where we're meant to be right now

 

maybe one day we'll know

when the other half's exposed too

...where to go



Love Always,

Lainey



Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved